Well, another week and another bunch of skells add their names to Santa’s naughty list. That’s right folks it’s this week’s Police Blotter.
Our usual correspondent, Heather Quinlan, is “on assignment” (read: real job) this month so your humble publisher is once again filling in. While Ms. Quinlan goes down to the precinct and breaks donuts with New York’s Finest, Mr. Fink prefers perusing the “papers” for this week’s crimes…
The Brooklyn Paper reports that a a lowlife held up two men at 9:10pm on December 11 at the corner of Clinton and Livingston Streets. While the scum blocked the vic’s path he pulled the old “I have a gun in my pocket” trick. That was enough to shake down the two dudes for $70 and a Blackberry. Gee, that “haul” will be worth the full “Oz” treatment one day, eh?
A thief guaranteed his place on the Hell Express on December 11 when he lifted the wallet of a parishioner at Plymouth Church of the Pilgrims. According to reports, the future minion of Satan entered the church basement at 4:10pm, rifled the woman’s purse and left the scene.
Seems that another “forgotten” handbag has been lifted. This time it wasn’t at Key Food or Almondine but rather an office on Clinton Street. On December 7 a woman left her bag in the building and when she returned to retrieve it, it was gone. She eventually found it empty in a stairwell according to police.
And finally… an Emotionally Disturbed Person (EDP) wielding a hammer terrorized Montague Street shoppers on Sunday, the Brooklyn Eagle reports. One passerby claimed that she narrowly dodged a blow as the nutjob stalked her. But no worries readers, this EDP did not flyover the Cuckoo’s Nest. He was nabbed by cops from the mighty 84th near the Park Plaza Diner (no one can resist the Big Pile Up scramble, right?). Mr. EDP was booked on weapons charges and sent to LICH to have his head examined.