I’d like to start by noting that today marks the one-year anniversary of my time on the police blotter. Yay, us! This is the longest relationship I’ve held on to for awhile, and even though other couples may toast to long walks, sunsets, and flowers just because, I raise a glass of Pellegrino to the F train, the Intersection of Death at Willoughby and Flatbush Ave. Ext. (where I cross to get to get to the 84), and last but not least … oh, why even bother, you know which fitness center I’m talking about. I think. But enough about me, what do you think of my dress? ahahhahaha yeah, ok on we go.
Last January, the Henry St. Tazza’s cash register was stolen, and the thieves got away with a whopping $15. This time, someone stole a $300 bag of cash at some point overnight. According to a Tazza employee, three delivery people have keys to the shop, though no arrests have been made.
A gallery owner either had one two many whiskey sours or heard all he could take on Dadaism, because he opened up a can of Andy Warhol’s whoopass during an argument at Hank’s Saloon in Boerum Hill. The 25-year-old victim claimed he got in an argument with the art thug who hit him over the head with a bar stool and was soon arrested.
Not to be outdone, Harry O’s was the site of a purse snatching on April 20th; the victim hung her purse in the closet and covered it with a coat. But the clever disguise was no match for one shrewd thief, who managed to steal away with the bag and $74.
Another thief hit paydirt at the Fulton St. Macy’s, where a shopper left her bag unattended on a stroller for several minutes. But the stroller was no match for one dastardly thief, who stole the bag and $200.
And finally … ta-da! Someone actually thought he could leave his backpack unattended at Planet Fitness without his belongings being stolen. But at least the victim was honest about the part he played—he claimed he left his backpack unattended for 15 minutes in the lounge. (As opposed to “I locked my belongings in a locker with a master lock, tied barbed wire all around and only left for a few seconds before someone stole all my clothes.”) The scoundrel got away with $80. And that’s this week’s blotter.