84th Precinct Police Blotter – 5/25/10

bugleblotter-300x1711 A defendant goes berserk and bites two officers at the Kings County Courthouse; a possible return of the two-laptop bandit; and thieves make off with 25 pairs of cargo pants from Ann Taylor Loft. It’s this week’s police blotter.

Tempers were hot in Crime Analysis this week. It’s Tuesday, it’s muggy, and one officer tried to snag another’s chocolate bar. “It’s only 10 in the morning!” she told him. But it’s 12:00 somewhere, so after enough pleading he got to bite into the Snickers. Now, on to the perps:

The defendant in a case at Kings County Courthouse registered her displeasure with the proceedings by giving a hearty “F U!” to the court. Not content to end there, she then attacked the arresting officers by biting one in the ankle and another in the chest. They were treated at the scene.

Three thugs broke into a recording studio at 20 Jay St., held the two victims at gunpoint and bound them with duct tape. One of the thieves said “Calm down. You are not going to get hurt.” But I don’t imagine that gave the victims much reassurance. The victims were indeed not hurt; however, their control board worth $10K was removed, along with their wallets. The thieves were last seen on foot on Jay St. heading toward John St.

A sublessee returned to her apartment at 135 Plymouth St. to find the door unlocked but no forced entry. She then saw that two Apple laptops were stolen. Could this be the return of the two-laptop bandit? (All two of you who follow this blotter will know who I’m talking about. But just in case, here’s a handy link.) Allow me to now put on my Columbo-approved trench coat for a moment and look at the facts: no forced entry? Check. Two Apple laptops? Check. However, the previous incidents were on State St., not particularly close to Plymouth St. In addition, this thief left a note asking for back rent in exchange for the safe return of the laptops. This does not fit the profile of our bandit, however, it does sound like my landlord.

Another incident at Planet Fitness. The victim put his property in his locker, locked it with a master lock and even checked that it was secure. So when he returned after his workout, the locker was open and everything inside gone. Except for his sunglasses.

Finally, a man and woman must really love the roomy comfort of the cargo pants at Ann Taylor Loft, because they stole 25 of them.

Just wanted to let you all know, I’ve started taking a new route to the precinct through Metro Tech, which is far safer than the Tillary-Flatbush death connection. Today on the way back I was stopped by an elderly woman who wanted to know where Joralemon was. Since I was heading that way, I escorted her over. (She’d had an appointment with her doctor for a new hearing aid.) After a few minutes, and feeling a bit elated from another successful blotter trip, I held my head up, threw my shoulders back and told her, “I’m a reporter.”

“Huh? You need a quarter?” she asked, “Let me see if I’ve got one.” And that’s this week’s police blotter.

Share this Story:


  • cat

    Lol, Heather. As one of the two, keep up the good work.

  • http://selfabsorbedboomer.blogspot.com Claude Scales

    An actual ankle biter!

  • Jonny

    People still wear cargo pants?

  • Karl Junkersfeld


    Claude and I aren’t part of your data count since we are co-workers but I love these reports. You are one funny person and I need that after a trying day. Thanks for cheering me up. btw, cat is #1 who is #2?

  • Karl Junkersfeld

    oh, it’s Jonny. He posted while I was writing my comment.

  • nabeguy

    Great reporting Heather. One question though. Does the BHB actually cover your expenses or did you accept that quarter as a bonus?

  • cobblebobble

    Consider me #2 – I can’t tell you how much I look forward to the police blotter! Where do I drop off a quarter?

  • Heather Quinlan

    Thanks, guys! Your kind words and quarters are greatly appreciated!

  • Andrew Porter

    I used to be a reporter too, and with my name, it was really confusing. But no one ever gave me a quarter. When I was wearing a badge that said “Press”, an alarming number of so-called witty people would press on it. Yuck, yuck…

  • AL

    Glad to know our gal Heather is on the beat. Doesn’t miss a trick and mighty funny, too. I’ll toss in a dollar if a basket gets passed.

  • harumph

    Heather – you def have some comedic chops there – lord knows this blog needs it! Thank you.

  • Kim G

    Very Funny!!! I needed a good laugh!