84th Precinct Police Blotter – 5/28/13

A break-in at Marty Markowitz’s office; a laptop that either costs $28,500 or $2,850 is stolen; and Epic Threads are on the loose. It’s this week’s CitiBike-free blotter.

I confess, it’s been awhile between dances. I had my film premiere on the 16th and a lot of hoo-hah before and after. (BTW – the next showing is June 21st, have I mentioned?) But I’m back to the daily grind. To wit: I was wearing my headphones on the way to the 84 this morning, and it looked like some man was trying to get my attention. Was it because of Knishes? My blotter? Had I achieved my dream of getting recognized in Downtown Brooklyn? Alas: “I really want to know—how’s life as a redhead?” he asked. It’s terrific. And now for the perps.

Two women got into fisticuffs inside the Ocean View Diner last Wednesday after some late-night dining.

Two other women got into an altercation the next morning outside 209 Joralemon St. A 45-year-old woman reported that her gal pal threw a cup of coffee at her and her baby after an argument. The accused is still at large.

A few hours before, a camera caught three people breaking into 209 Joralemon St—aka Marty Markowitz’s office. It’s not known if proclamations or anything else was stolen. According to the cameras, the trio hung out on the first floor for half an hour before going upstairs and then leaving, making this one of the dullest break-ins ever.

Last Tuesday in my dream building, a 21-year-old woman gave permission for workers to fix the entryway in her apartment while she was out. When she returned, her $2,500 wedding ring and $550 camera were gone.

While playing basketball at McLaughlin Park last Monday, a 33-year-old (who does not read the blotter) was robbed of two iPhones and $320.

The next day, a laptop was stolen from Amplify’s office on Washington St. The report lists the laptop as a Mac worth $28,500—I’m not sure if the police added an extra zero or there were a heck of a lot of apps.

Finally, a 48-year-old woman was nabbed at Macy’s after trying to grab $76 in men’s drawers, $70 in panties, $234 in “active wear,” and $44 in Epic Threads. And that’s this week’s blotter.

Share this Story:

  • http://selfabsorbedboomer.blogspot.com/ Claude Scales

    This blotter should generate an Epic Thread. Bring on the Marty jokes (“Nothing in his office worth stealing?”).

  • jivika

    I’m just glad the blotter is back. Some good reading, I tell you what.

  • David on Middagh

    If the New Yorker had a blotter, Heather Quinlan could be writing it.

  • Sylester

    Junior’s Cheesecake? Could it have been Tinkerbell?

  • Andrew Porter

    Can we even *have* a blotter without fountain pens?

    My picture of Heather now includes red hair. I may have to go into stalker mode!