Marty’s Funny… Funny How?

(Note: This article is meant to be read with a nice glass of chianti and maybe a calzone…a little Sinatra music wouldn’t hurt.)

Okay, I’m gonna try and avoid as many Goodfellas/Sopranos/Godfather references here as I can, but what is up with Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz and “this thing of ours?”

As reported yesterday in the New York Daily News, Marty, his predecessor Howard Golden and Federal Judge Jack Weinstein, (the Kosher Nostra), gave a Carroll Gardens (Red Hook) restaurant owner (mobster), a pass for paying tribute to a made member of the Gambino Crime Family.

Joseph Chirico, owner of Marco Polo (or as we say in Brooklyn, Marco Polo’s) Italian Restaurant, was facing up to a year “away at school” for forking over $1,500 to the Family. However, the Kosher Nostra flipped for Chirico! Can the calamari be THAT good?

I’ve known Marty Markowitz for decades. He’s a good guy. As State Senator he would celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by handing out green bagels to legislators and staff…on both sides of the aisle. He bleeds Brooklyn. He cares about Brooklyn. Who can forget the sight of him standing on The Great Bridge handing out coffee during the transit strike?

But Marty, really, you ain’t even supposed to be eatin’ Italian food no more. Remember how that heart attack last year almost whacked you like a baseball bat to the knees?

As for Golden, former Brooklyn Boss, why did he stick his beak into the court’s business? I worked for the Golden family business – Borough Hall – back in the 1980’s. I can just picture the Boss standing in his kitchen when Chirico’s lawyer asked him for a letter of reference. “Every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in!”

So they’re not the Big 3, but the Kosher Nostra crew of Markowitz,Golden and Weinstein gave Marco Polo’s owner a huge bailout. After a tongue lashing (a beatin’) in court, Weinstein ordered six months house arrest with no bracelet! Chirico even gets to spend 10 hours a day at his food joint. Maybe the calamari IS that good.

The Kosher Nostra insisted that putting Chirico in jail would mean whacking Marco Polo’s and put 25 people outta work. Now that’s a bailout we can believe in.

Look, Howie Golden always operated like he was half-a-wiseguy wanabe. But Marty Markowitz? Fuggedabadit!
Marty, we know you’ve longed to be the second coming of Joey Bishop in the Rat Pack. We figure that’s why you’re a member of the Friar’s Club. But take my advice: Go home and get your shine box.

Howie Greene was born in Brooklyn just in time to watch the Dodgers pack up and move to Los Angeles. Currently involved in real estate, Howie was part of the management team for The Godfather of Soul, James Brown, traveling the world with him. Howie spent 2 years working on cruise ships and has literally “sailed the seven seas.” He’s hosted radio shows in Washington, D.C., New York City, Denver, Los Angeles and Buffalo. And yes, Marty Connor was once his landlord.
Howie will be one of the many colorful voices at The Brooklyn Bugle… coming soon.

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  • bornhere

    1. Marco Polo’s veal is the best in the city.
    2. Never take sides against the family.
    3. No more shines.
    4. Let it be.

  • Claude Scales

    Actually, Italian food is good for your heart (see statistics on coronary disease in Italy). It’s probably the cream cheese, schmaltz and stuffed derma that loaded his arteries.

  • Howie Greene

    I sure hope our Marty was not mixing cream cheese and the schmaltz, because that is simply not kosher! :)

  • Jim

    And if it had been a cabal of Catholics, or better yet, Muslims that were involved in this situation, would you have repeatedly referred to them by some denominational pun as well? I’m sure there’s no ill intention on your part, but perpetuating those kinds of nicknames, even in a lighthearted way, can be harmful when it gets picked up and perverted by those with a less enlightened outlook.

  • Jazz

    Jim perhaps you are a putz.

  • Jim

    I would like to thank “Jazz” for his carefully considered, obviously well-informed, and highly educated comments. He has brought the level of discourse in this comment section to heretofore undreamed-of heights, a level none of could have previously imagined possible. Jazz, please keep inspiring us all to dream big. Your sharp critique has made me realize the error of my ways, and I stand humbled before your imposing display of intellect in action. Kudos to you for keeping us all on our toes, my quick-witted friend!

    See you around the library,