No (Loud) Sex, Please; This is Brooklyn Heights

We have helicopters. We have Brooklyn Bridge renovation work. We have kids going to and from Brooklyn Bridge Park. What we don’t have–count your blessings–are neighbors who disturb our peace while getting a piece; at least none who have done so flagrantly enough to rate a 311 call to complain. DNA Info has created an interactive map that shows, by zip code, how many such complaints have originated from each area. Our zip code, 11201, gets a solid “G” rating for zero complaints. Contrast this with Bay Ridge, which gets a “XXX” for seven complaints, although according to this article by Kristin Iversen in Brooklyn Magazine, all of these complaints have been caused by one couple, who reign as the city champs of cacaphonic canoodling.

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  • Roberto Gautier

    Many of us learned years ago that noise complaints to 311 are not recorded if they refer to after-hours construction on the Brooklyn Bridge, to take one example. For projects with a variance to permit construction after permitted hours, those complaints are also not entered officially. Beyond that, if you have ever called 311 with a noise complaint, especially in the middle of the night, the wait time can be 10 minutes before you get a person. Given that, calling 311 seems a waste of time and doing so ends up with you jumping through hoops needlessly.

  • Michael Rock

    Totally worth reading if only for the phrase “cacaphonic canoodling”.

  • Reggie

    Contact 311 online instead of by phone:

  • StoptheChop

    there’s also a 311 app. But fyi– can’t use the app for helicopter noise complaints at all.

  • csharp

    From my experience, the only time it’s useful to call 311 for a noise complaint is if the noise is lasting many many hours since the police may take up to 8 hours to respond. If an ice cream truck is parked outside your place playing their awesome song for hours on end it may be worth a try.

  • Boerum Bill

    I believe the refined ladies of the Heights have the good sense and breeding to know when to “bite the pillow”, as it were.

  • Andrew Porter

    There is, or was, a therapist’s office in the first floor of the tall apt building at the Montague Street entrance to the Promenade, from which emotional cries would unexpectedly issue, audible to passers-by. Either they’ve moved, or they keep the windows closed now.