BHB Guest Post: ‘A Fan’s Open Letter to the Wiener Whiners’

By on June 25, 2012 10:50 am in Brooklyn Heights, Food, War On Fun

BHB received this guest post Monday. The neighborhood wiener roast gets one more grilling… 

(Editor’s note: Please check update of this story here.)

I am a Washington, D.C., native who is lucky enough to spend quite a bit of time in beautiful Brooklyn Heights. Consequently, I read the local blogs and am following with bemusement the Hot Dog Cart Incident that has now spilled onto the pages of The New York Post.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Brooklyn Heights’ Coterie of the Chronically Outraged is homogenizing the community into its own sterile Stepford. They are the true blight on this otherwise charming neighborhood. The anonymity of the posts gives people an idiot courage that they lack in real life.

This entire teapot-sized tempest is the Information Age equivalent of running someone out on a rail—to say nothing of the not-even-thinly-veiled bigotry behind it all.

When you make the choice to live in a city—any city—you have to understand and take part in the social contract behind it all. We know that having to endure the sight of a hot dog cart on your Hollywood movie set slice of New York life is an impediment to your lifestyle. It gets in your way as you jog your double-wide baby stroller to your hot yoga session, so that later you can enjoy a post-workout free trade soy latte lovingly prepared in your French press, while reading the latest McSweeney’s post.

Do you know who might enjoy a disgusting hot dog served by a disgusting person? A policeman walking a neighborhood beat. Construction workers and utility people keeping your neighborhood pristine. Your nanny, who really doesn’t get paid enough for overseeing your privileged progeny to dine regularly at your favorite vegan restaurant. A college couple that might want the romance of sharing a hot dog while strolling the Promenade.

God, these people disgust me.

Even the hipster culinary icon Anthony Bourdain, who has come to symbolize the sine qua non of snarky foodie-ism, extols the virtues of “meat in tube form” and more specifically its provenance from the corner street cart merchant. I enjoy the occasional pushcart hot dog in D.C. and New York. I love the opportunity to sit on a park bench and munch happily away while contemplating how social climbing is turning the great American melting pot into an overcooked slurry of self-centered consumerism.

Look, if you don’t want a hot dog, don’t eat a hot dog. But don’t pretend that you are doing the community a service. You are the very models of checkbook charity—giving to popular issues not because you care, but so that you don’t have to actually endure them. It’s not even snobbery. It’s the basest form of prejudice, and it’s sad. For you.

There is a place where you can live your lifestyle free from the horrors of the demon hot dog vendor. It’s called the suburbs. Give it a look.

The rest of us who live in the city would appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Alex Cook

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  • Mr. Crusty

    @Cobble: “The really nice people at the Casino don’t speak the way she does. So I imagine she’s on the fringe. An arriviste, if you will.”

    Well, I wouldn’t have said that Cobble, mainly because I didn’t know what the word “arriviste” meant. I looked it up and it is quite perfect.

    I love learning new words. Thank-you.

  • j

    I prefer “new money” to arriviste but I guess the arriviste would ;)

  • Hicks St Guy

    @PromGal. some things you say I may agree with, but your sweeping generalizations are really questionable, to put it nicely.

  • She’s Crafty

    Why does having to be sponsored by more than one member make the Casino such a good place? I’d say it excludes people and that’s not so great. Who cares about the black tie ball either, the ‘new money’ observation is right on the head.

  • ColumbiaHeightster

    Bravo, Mr. Crusty! That really sums up what is happening here. Some people see this as an issue about a hot dog vendor. Others (myself included) see it as an issue about certain members of this community losing their minds about what a hot dog vendor is going to do to their precious Nirvana.

    Brooklyn Heights, and New York at large, would be a lot better off without the PromGals and Gerrys among us…like it or not, they are giving the decent people of this neighborhood a really bad name.

    Why do you think it’s getting news coverage, because of the impressive community activism it took to evict a food cart? No, it’s getting news coverage because of how appalling that eviction was.

  • bx2bklyn

    May I add my admiration to that of Cobbles’s, Mr. Crusty? :)

    I think what bothers me so much about the elitism, and looking down on hot dog vendors (as an example) is that guys like him used to be the backbone of the economy. Hardworking people , who literally broke their backs to make money for their families, who came from all over the world in fact, were the engine of the city. From the Irish cops to the Jewish garmentos to the Italian pizza guy and the korean grocers, the Hispanic ladies who clean the hotel rooms and offices- they didn’t sit in fancy offices. Lord knows they didn’t have big year end bonuses of tens of thousands of dollars, or worry about the hot dog vendor. In fact they were probably buying his hot dogs for lunch. When did we start looking down our noses at honest hard working people just because we think our so-called aesthetics are more important than some poor guy making a living? That’s some really messed up priorities.It’s true, what they say- money can buy you a nice couch and a fancy house, but it can’t buy you class.

  • M Frost

    Hi folks, the Brooklyn Eagle calls BHA for a comment about hotdog-gate.
    http://www.brooklyneagle.com/articles/brooklyn-heights-hot-dog-imbroglio-no-permit-no-food

  • Neighbor Hood

    Hope EVERYONE reads the above Eagle article which clearly states the guy had no permit to be where he was. It’s that simple. Why so many posters felt the need to take the bait of 1 or 2 racist crackpots to turn neighbor against neighbor is beyond me. The permit rules help protect what I assume attracted most of us to the hood…the beauty, architecture, quiet charm and neighborhood feel. The hotdog cart owner even said fine, I’ll just move it to another corner. Can we move on now in a friendlier tone without pitting new residents against established, young against old, wealthier against less wealthy?

  • Gerry

    @ Mr Crusty I feel it highly unlikely that you are a high rankning law enforcement official because you spend too much time on this blog on the subject of the Hot Dog Vendor and on another note when did you get the idea that i am interested in your opinion of ME?

    @ Crumdgeon – the vending boxes for the New York Times and Daily News and New York Post were gone years ago the Brooklyn Heights Association was a great help to me with the removal of those boxes

    @ Willowtowncop if you really are a police officer I strongly suspect that you are a lousy one your disrespectful remarks are inapproriate for a police officer – and for your information the NYPD have always been helpful to me and my family as we live happily ever after here on Montage Terrace

    I am happy that I got rid of the hot dog vendor!

  • dog

    I let my dog poop on the sidewalk on Montague Terrace this morning without picking up. If I do that often enough, the real estate price drops and I buy all the apts there for cheap. Just a matter of time and Gerry can’t stop me. I got connections to the command officer at the 84th.

  • WillowSt.Neighbor

    Neighbor Hood,
    Thank you!

  • Mr. Crusty

    @Gerry, read again, I said I was (past tense) a high ranking law enforcement officer. I have since moved on to other endeavors and trust me I work much longer hours now than when I did as a civil service employee. You can believe what you wish, it is of no concern to me.

    On the other issue, you may not be interested in my opinion but you are going to get it none the less. Sorry, you don’t get to call someone a ‘slob’ as you called the hot dog vendor and remain immune from criticism.

    @Neighbor Hood: you still don’t get it do you? It’s no longer about the hot dog vendor or permits. It’s not even about the merits of hot dog stands in BH in general. IT is about he type of community we are. A community is not just brick and mortar.

    What makes BH so appealing to me is the eclectic mix of its residents. It is not one dimensional as some ” hipster” neighborhoods appear to be, but rather rich with a mixture of all types of people. Young and old, established residents and new arrivals, straight and gay, artists and lawyers. It is that diversity, and the acceptance which that diversity evinces, that makes this a special place. As far as some of he comments these last couple of days have lead some to believe otherwise, I am saddened.

  • Regina

    @dog, great idea. lets declare montague terrace a “no pick up zone”

  • my2cents

    This new tempest in a teapot has brought me out of BHB commenting semi-retirement.
    1) I’m sorry but I just am baffled that Peter Kaufman can say “amen, alex” to this op-ed when he himself is the epitome of the “Coterie of the Chronically Outraged” who calls and harangues the precinct captain when he doesn’t like what he sees out his ivory window. This whole stupid discussion brings back his whole church vs. bike lane flap to my head. He was the “gerry” in that story but now he apparently thinks it’s great to criticize a person for NIMBY-ism? Very consistent.

    2) I could give a damn about whether there is a vendor on that block or not. I personally love hot dogs. I am surprised that only one commenter in this lengthy thread recognized the hypocrisy in Alex’s piece with his sweeping class-based generalizations that frankly describe a stereotype of *Park Slope*, not even Brooklyn Heights! He didn’t even get the freakin stereotype right! Who is doing hot yoga and drinking fair trade coffee in Brooklyn Heights?? Where can you even buy fair trade soy lattes on Montague? And even if there were such people, why does Alex, who is obviously himself a yuppie have any right to start with this class warfare BS about cops on the beat and Joe sixpack enjoying a nice proletarian hot dog–and the nasty upper class are trying to take it away…I’m sorry but I just have to call BS on that whole line of rhetoric which is clearly the product of his own white upper-middle class self loathing and has little to no bearing on the issue at hand.

    3) from a purely legal POV and whether you like vendors or not, if the guy didn’t have a permit to be there, then why should he not be told to leave again?

  • Neighbor Hood

    @my2cents-double amen. While I can’t comment one way or another on your critique of Mr Kaufaman, I’ve been saddened by the way this thread so quickly devolved into supposed neighbors bashing others and now on to…
    @Mr Crusty- double BS….YOU have been one of the main commenters who very happily & quickly turned this off topic…”funny I was thinking it is a shame that the snobs aren’t gone for it is they that cheapen the neighborhood.” When I or others calmly asked the question “was he properly permitted” you ignored it and helped keep this inane bashing going back and forth.
    And-BHB..what’s up with
    A. posting a “guest post”with a very one sided point of view without posting a sensible opposing opinion for people to consider?
    B. if the Eagle article is correct and he was NOT permitted for the area how could you and this blog let this go on so long? Just for the hits? You felt no obligation to jump in and clarify at some point.
    Well congratulations for some free negative publicity in the Post for our hood and for encouraging one of the simultaneously nasty and trivial threads ever…but hey…it was long wasn’t it..

  • Prom Gal

      The blatant class warfare in some of these posts is getting really tiresome.
     
      My comment about the Heights Casino was a point of information/ FYI post. 
     
      The Casino is an integral part of BH social and community life for many residents. It is an architectural treasure, and is home to one of the most important squash tournaments in the US. 
      
     As for the Yuletide Ball, it is one of Brooklyn’s major social events that raises a large sum of money for the Brooklyn Kindergarten Society, a wonderful charity that raises money to fund early childhood education in underprivileged areas of Brooklyn. 
      
      We look forward to it every year, and enjoy the opportunity to contribute to enable less fortunate  children to enjoy some of the opportunities our own children have. Because of the nature of the Yuletide Ball, and the great generosity of the participants, almost 100% of the money raised goes directly to BKS. 

      And yes, we are old BH, not “arriviste”. Our families have been here for almost 100 years. My grandmother and mother made their debuts at the Yuletide Ball,  a debutante cotillion back in the day. 

      I’m very proud of my heritage, as I would expect you are of yours. 

      I am proud to pass it on to my young children, and do what I can to continue the work of those whose tireless efforts in the 1950’s and 60’s prevented much of BH, with its beautiful tree lined streets and historic homes from being demolished, and lost forever. 
      

  • Mr. Crusty

    @Neighbor Hood you claim I ignored the question if the hot dog vendor had a permit when I was the one in fact that provided the link that definitively proved that carts are not permitted on Montague Street (see my post at 1:28 on the 25th)

    So many people have this wrong. One does not get a,”permit” to work a particular location. One gets a permit to sell food from a cart. You can do so anywhere in NYC other than where it is specifically prohibited. It IS prohibited on Montague Street. It has nothing to do with whether it is a commercial or residential street. The ice cream guy is a different situation and does pay for his “spot” due to his proximity to a public park.

    Bottom line: The hot dog cart had a valid permit. Permit or not, he was not authorized to set up where he did.

    That being said, this thread wasn’t taken “off topic” by me but by the nasty uncalled for comments that ended up in the NY Post and which made BH the object of ridicule and scorn. Don’t try to turn this around and blame those of us that pushed back at those comments to show that not everyone in BH agrees with them. We need more people to stand up to bigotry, not less.

  • George W

    Hurray for Mr. Crusty– he should be the keynote speaker at the next BHA meeting!

  • Winstion Smith

    Pomp Gal, I must post a counter view of your beloved Heights Casino. To me and many others The Casino has stood as a bastion of “blue blood” bigotry.
    A doctor friend of mine moved here in the 1950’s. He bought a house, set up practice and started to raise a family. He quickly became a pillar of the community. Being somewhat of a sportsman he inquired about membership at the Heights Casino “SORRY NO JEWS ALLOWED” was the response…. A couple of decades passed and one day he received a letter from the casino inviting him to participate in the Yuletide Ball and consider membership (I guess he must have had a couple of sponsors). Well you can you can imagine the letter he wrote in response, telling them where they could stick their invitation.
    So Prom Gal, how does that story dovetail into your image of the Casino? What are are the rank and file members like today, do you have many Jews how about Catholics and (dare I say) Negros (employees don’t count)? Or just a couple tokens so you can say “we are not a bunch of elitist bigots”.

  • Mr. Crusty

    @PromGal: ” The blatant class warfare in some of these posts is getting really tiresome”

    We agree on something. You are right, the blatant class warfare, as exemplified by this comment, “disgusting food served by disgusting people to disgusting people” is very tiresome.

  • Gerry

    @ Mr. Crusty it appears that you have nothing to do but make dumb remaks on this blog it looks to me like you are unemployed and I fell it highly unlikely that you were ever a “high ranking law enforcemnt professional” if you had been you would not say so here that is a part of the “professional charter” of FBI, CIA, etc.

    I strongly supect that you area vendor who sells hot dogs!

    Now I must get back to work here the bills on this Montague Terrace brownstone are big I suggest that YOU get a job also Mr. Crusty you need a job so that you do not spend so much time with floolishness on this blog.

  • Mr. Crusty

    Busted! You got me Gerry. I’m a hot dog vendor.

  • Slide

    Gerry, there is an old saying, “when in a hole, stop digging”.

  • nabeguy

    Gerry, it’s obvious that there is not much anyone can say that will penetrate your smugness. You’ve made it clear that you hate hot dogs, hate hot dog vendors and hate hot dog vendors customers Your reasons are your own and I’m not mentally diseased enough to fathom them. But put this in your bun and chew on it for a while…the residents of the Heights who represent its true spirit hate you just as much for embarrassing an entire neighborhood by identifying it with your pedestrian problems. You won a very small battle in what is surely a very small life…how can it be otherwise, with such a limited view of the world? And please, can you spellcheck your posts before submitting them? It’s enough to know your an idiot without you confirming it for all of us.

  • Prom Gal

    @Winstion Smith
    As I’m sure you are aware, private clubs can accept or reject any prospective member they choose. As can coops. 

    There are many private clubs in BH, and they are just that- private. 

    Coops similarly reflect their “members” and the Courts have repeatedly ruled that coops may reject anyone they wish without giving a reason.  This was famously true when a Fifth Avenue coop rejected the Nixon family, and CPW coops rejected Barbra Streisand and Cher. All three lost their lawsuits against the coops. 

      The top coops in BH have rigid income requirements and coop boards that are very strict. They require 50% cash down payment, a $1-3 million cash outlay,  they are by definition, self selective. 
      
     The second tier of coops requires 25% cash down, or otherwise stated, will only permit 50-75% financing, and a minimum  yearly income of 10-20x the yearly maintenance. Many people do not wish to submit 10 years of tax returns and undergo that kind of scrutiny by coop boards, which leaves only three other options: single family dwelling, condos, or rentals.

     That’s the inside scoop on Brooklyn Heights real estate and social life. Feel free to add. 

    That being said, we live in 2012, not 1955, and demographics and attitudes have changed. Regarding the Heights Casino, the membership has become more diverse,  reflecting the neighborhood demographic from which the members are drawn. There are many Jewish members, to directly respond to your question.

     In your particular case, the Groucho Marx rule would probably apply. 

  • Winstion Smith

    Dear Prom Gal, Thanks for confirming my point.

    Also FYI, I am a vice president of a coop board and a lifetime Heights resident.

    And lets just say, in the case of the Heights Casino, you are right. I have no interest in being a member of that club even if they would have me as a member. I have been a guest at the Casino several times and find it kind of nauseating.

  • ColumbiaHeightster

    PromGal, get your facts straight before you spout off like a fake lawyer. Co-op boards cannot reject an applicant for any reason just because they are private. Here is the law:

    A co-op board cannot unlawfully discriminate against applicants who are members of a protected class. Consequently, when an applicant claims rejection based on race, religion or other protected class status, courts will closely examine a co-op board’s decision-making process to ensure that co-ops are not hiding behind fabricated or pretextual reasons to cover up what are in reality discriminatory acts.

    Section 296 of the New York City Human Rights Law law prohibits co-op boards from inquiring into a prospective purchaser’s age, gender, disability, martial status, sex, sexual preference, familial
    status, national origin, race or color, religion and creed.

    Happy to clear that up for you. If you need any other real estate law guidance, just ask.

  • WillowSt.Neighbor

    nabeguy,
    Gee whiz. Calling Gerry an idiot! What’s gotten into you?
    You are becoming a grouch! Maybe it’s time to move back!

  • Holly

    Great post Alex. I love my neighborhood and I love hot dogs. The only thing I don’t like are pretentious snobs and unfortunately it seems there are a few of them in this hood who happen to post on the brooklyn heights blog.
    I hope the hot dog truck comes back because, after walking up that hill from dumbo pushing my too wide stroller there is nothing I want more than a cold drink and hot DOG.

  • Mr. Crusty

    @ColumbiaHeightster. It’s amazing that PromGal is so clueless as to what “private” Co-op boards can, and cannot, do regarding discrimination. Restauraunts are private entities as well, can they refuse to serve whomever they decide?

    I think this was a bit of wishful thinking on the part of PromGal. If she were honest I think she would admit that she supports the right to exclude many of those “disgusting people” which we have been talking about for the better part of a week.

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