This dispatch just in from a BHB tipster claiming that a Brooklyn Heights Dad got a schmack on the head from another patron at the Montague Street Starbucks. Allegedly, the smacker felt that the smackee was not parenting properly by ignoring his fidgety baby while waiting on a latte. Do we call it instant justice or is it past the legal limit? Full eyewitness account after the jump:
I was in the Montague St Starbucks at 10:20 am today, maybe 10:25. A man outside had a baby in an upright-type stroller and was speaking with a woman who seemed very concerned. It seems that his child was fussing in the stroller while the man ( who I will call “Dad”) was waiting for his drink. When the baby kept crying another man complained to Dad: when Dad did not leave and stayed to wait for his drink, the non-dad man slapped Dad on the back of the head.
Now, I did not see this, but was there immediately afterward. Not only the woman outside with Dad, but the employees and other customers (including child-free individuals) were 99% on Dad’s side. (Only one man seemed to disagree, but he quickly demurred when reminded that one adult should not hit another over this, no matter how aggravating it should be.)
The police were called and the manager and an employee went out and spoke w/them and Dad. The Slapper was out of there by then, but I hope the store
security camera was on. I have seen frequent out-of-control behavior there, but this child was not crying, just looking cranky, when I saw him and he was in the stroller. Actually, I think the baby /toddler was in the stroller the entire time. Thankfully, Dad was very rational and saw no need to start the Thrilla on Montanilla. (It’s Monday, and I’ve had a lot of I coffee, so please pardon my literary excesses.) Slapper had left by the time I got there.This did not seem to be egregious parental behavior. I have an elementary-school-aged child, and have been in situations like this. I always left the store if my kid got too cranky or loud; doing it once or twice seemed to alert the child to the consequences of misbehaving in an adult public place. One adult hitting another over this kind of thing like this is certainly egregious behavior to me.
These metrosexual latte “Dads” have been on the radar of black coffee Anheuser-Busch “Slappers” since the smoking ban! One didn’t need a meteorologist to see this storm brewing. Although I respect Starbucks as a monopoly, I still standby my belief that these sissy drinks should have always come with a side of head slap. That said, I still don’t fully condone this type of behavior on Montague St nor Grace Court.
>> I still standby my belief that these sissy drinks should have always come with a side of head slap. <<
LOL
One forgets that coffee-based drinks, among so much else, must pass the butch test.
(My! How humorless of me!)
David, that should be Quote of the Day. Does BHB even have QOD?
While I may have wanted to slap an inconsiderate parent or two there is no excuse to put a hand on another person unless your life is on the line.
Grace Court?
GHB: thanks for dropping that in our suggestion box.
no mentioned the race of either individual. that could add an entire additional layer of intrigue!
The sanctity of the Heights is Grace Court. That means Starbucks, Dads & Slappers must show it the utmost respect.
There will never be a slapping fest in Cranberry’s. I do not like Starbucks. Only good for when you are in midtown and need to hit the head, then you can get some burnt coffee at the same time.
This post was worth it just for that first comment by David.
Sticky: Seems like this chap at Starbucks on Montague this morning had a different notion of “hit the head.”
this is why i go to ct muffin where the slaps come from the staff
Ct Muffin is Theresa’s to Starbuck’s Heights Cafe.
The dad probably parked in a bike lane or something.
I remember a slapping incident like this at Great Wall a little while back. Somebody was whistling along during the Itzhak Perlman concert and the guy behind him just walloped him.
My partner “A” was AT starbucks when the incident occurred this morning. he says that while the baby was irritating, people in general become impatient at starbucks, because the line is long and the wait is often endless. oddly, he says that the dad wasn’t even in line… so why the “schmack”? i’m all for appropriate parenting (a little jack daniels on the gums of a screeching child… what harm could it do, now, really?), but it seems that this was one occasion where said “schmacker” was out of line. maybe they should all just move to park slope.
p.s. because of the ruckus, my partner “A” left starbucks without his morning mud-coffee. guess who had to deal with the brunt of his non-caffeinated irritation? that’d be me.
Travy, the staff at Connecticut Muffin doesn’t slap, they just snarl, snap and do eye rolls
Robby, why was Itzhak Perlman playing at Great Wall?
GHB …. allow me… because it has the best Chinese food in Brooklyn Heights.
It was really just a love tap..come on now.
If only Great Wall offered miniature golf….
They do AEB…but you have to order the dumplings to start playing.
I’ve seen some fairly anti-social characters hanging out at the Montague St. Starbucks on occasion. I was there on Saturday night and an unsavory old man was belching loudly in the front of the place while drinking a liter bottle of Coke and spreading newspapers all over. Where do these people come from??
As for those metrosexual dads, they just not getting enough Busch…Anhauser or otherwise.
Perlman gave a standing-room-only recital back in, I believe, 1993. It was something like the 30th anniversary of his first performance at Carnegie Hall. Great Wall had catered a party for the anniversary, and this was Perlman’s way of paying the tab — like Picasso.
Children under 18 should be outlawed at all restaurants including Starbucks. they should be left in their pods until fully grown, tax paying adults
I believe Great Wall was also instrumental in bringing about the opening up of China following Mao’s demise–which of course involved reformulating the Principal Contradiction in Chinese society during 1978′s third plenary session of the eleventh central committee of the CCP….
Thus the miniature golf.
And the denunciation and forced exile of thousands of ping-pong players.
The Perlman story is somewhere between apocryphal and the truth. From what I remember from the local papers at the time — and it’s a very vague memory — it was more complicated than that. Something having to do with one of the chefs having a daughter who was a violinist and student of Perlman’s.
This is the best thread in a while, folks. keep it up! :-)
Hey,I have only been cranky once when I was very young.Did the baby cry when the dad was slapped?Was it upset? I think you should have included that.
I wish “Slapper” could stay in the neighborhod after his arrest (I hope) and for his public service could be sentenced to slapping all those who ask people for the time with malicious intent. Must channel that anger somewhere … and Lord knows the crime posts around Halloween honestly did make me nervous.
But, actually, I do hope “Slapper” could have at least some comeuppance. Maybe serious time in the laundry room of an organic diaper service? I ALSO sincerely nominate “Dad” for inclusion in the BHB Ten for having the self-restraint to keep himself from punching said “Slapper.”
were they both white guys?
Can you say…”Anger Management Classes?”
I’ll take the risk of getting slapped on Montague Street if it means I don’t have to drink the bitter liquid that Cranberry’s passes off as coffee.
I was going to pass this one by but feel the need to chime in…As a parent of a special needs child, my oldest who is 8 has been diagnosed with mild Asperger’s. He functional and an honor roll student on general ed. He does tend to have “moments” where he appears differently and I have been on the receiving end of many rude and hurtful comments from many adults. Now these adults have always been male. In the past I would gather my brood and leave but now, I stand up for my children. My children and I have just as much of a right to be in a public establishment as lets say dog owners. I’m an animal lover but I HATE having to walk past those little darlings chained up outside of businesses while their owners shop away. I also hate dog poop and my kids don’t poop on the sidewalks or pee in gardens.
My husband and I respect those who have chosen not to have children and will only frequent restaurants that are child friendly. I’m not a Starbucks fan and I find their coffee rather bitter but I have been known to make a purchase because it has easy access with a stroller.
Getting to my point, I’m sure most of you are kind people which is one of the reasons we have chosen this neighborhood to raise our children. I don’t expect everyone to like my kids but they have just as much of a right to be in public as dog walkers, smokers and the street vendors who clog the corners. My son has taught me a greater understanding of life. When I see a parent struggling with a child I no longer say to myself “what a handfull or I’m glad that’s not me”.
I just want to pass along that sometimes it’s just easier to offer some assistance to the parent than to be nasty about their children. For the record, if my kids become upset I quickly remove them and many times have waited outside for our food to be boxed so as not to disturb other patrons. Kids are kids and we all need to set good examples for them. Hopefully this angry coffee drinker will be able to find a coffee house which has a no kids policy and can drink in peace.
Kim and My Three Little Ones 8, 5 and 21 months )
Well said, Kim.
Sounds like the kid was the best behaved of the bunch. Did anyone catch what these two MENSA candidates said to each other? Might provide a clue as to why things got real hot real fast.
Karma’s a boomerang, friends. One of these days Slapper will deck the wrong guy and will end up face down in the pavement dog poop with stroller tracks across his back.
PS: Love the thread.
Oh for goodness sake – this isn’t about kids, it’s about being assaulted.
Yay Kim and thanks for mentioning that our little darlings (aspy or not) actually have a couple human rights coming to them. Hitting is not one of them, which we all work on daily and pay taxes to DOE to insure gets into the curriculum as well. May slapper get punched in face by next parent he “smacks” — you know he’ll do it again — and lose some expensive dental work. When i was pregnant with my second, I would have LOVED any excuse to punch a jerk in the mouth. But i’m over it now … a little.
It kind of is about kids.. or how adults act around them. Lighten up John
Wentling.
I would respect Kim more if she didn’t somehow equate how she treats her kid with how I treat my dog.
Thanks fot the support guys! John, this is about the kids first and second about the assult. But if it hadn’t been for a fussy child, the assult may not have happened.
Face down in dog poop LOL! I’ve stepped in enough of it…no slap to responsible pet owners. You guys are great!
Thanks pankymom!
ABC Forgive me if I don’t understand what you mean about treating my kids with how you treat your dog. Sorry, but I don’t get it. I was just kind of shooting from the hip.
PEACE!
Dogs AND children ought to be banned from public places. No argument here on the equal treatment question.
SMACK!
“Hey, hey, we don’t hit. We use our words. We use our words.”
SMACK!
“Okay! Now we use our LAWYERS! We use our LAWYERS!!”
I’m still trying to get over the Elvis Costello reference
Edit – i hear they beat him up until the teardrops start.
Living in a mega stressful society with people computing and scheming all over trying to megacharge you, arrest you, take away your home and other horrable s.it, I can see why people might snap once in as while.
To snap and yell is one thing to snap and slap is wrong. You don’t hit people…self defense maybe. Just because someone doesn’t like what is going on or the line is too long at the coffee house is not grounds for smacking someone. I’ve run into many people I would love to backhand and they probably deserved a good whack. This uptight gentleman sounds as if whatever was bothering him may have been pre-existing and he was just looking for an excuse to unload. I don’t know if words were exchanged but, I walk away from time bombs and I teach my children to do the same.
If there weren’t so many people in this world that made me want to throw up, the stress levels would go way down.
tommyboy, I agree. Little tykes do not belong in Starbucks or any tiny adult venue. Also, I wish more parents would raise their tykes to be mre respectable adults, even if it means turning off the idiot box.
Perhaps, as health suggests, he should have just thrown up on the dad. Certainly would have been a more passive-aggressive approach and, given the involvement of an infant, has a certain poetic justice to it. BTW, health, what is a “tiny adult venue”? Are you talking about the size of the venue or the adult?
the venue :)
The “Dad” (I use the term loosely) should have taken his kid out of Starbucks. Better yet, discipline his child. Is that too much to ask of parents?
I’m sorry, if dad was ignoring a petulant or otherwise problematic child, the dad deserved what he got. If it were legal to slap AHoles, this would be a kindler gentler society… Just look at those small towns in the south that allow public carrying of firearms… Now, it’s all heresay as to whether the child was being obnoxious, and if it was I support the slapper!
Why is everyone overlooking the obvious? The slapper should have slapped the KID.
Are you reading the story? It was an infant. Perhaps you may have had your own head slapped too many times to post a comment like that. This whole non-breeder-never-will-be-can’t-stand-children-get-them-out-of-my-face-cuz-I-never-was-one stand makes me want to go target hunting for a few good heads of my own.
You people are pansies. The baby is this man’s responsibility. Don’t have babies if you don’t want to take care of them and that includes waiting for your selfish overdramatic coffee to be made at Starbucks. The baby fussing is YOURS. Take care of the child. If your coffee fix is TOO important and you CAN’T be interrupted to take care of another human being (yours, the baby) then use birth control you selfish prick. You and Tiger Woods—no difference. SELFISH. Discipline the baby??? Are you nuts? Discipline the Father! The baby needs care, not a coffee you dimwit! The baby has no means to fight back. Numbskull.
Submitter changed their story a couple of times on just how badly the baby was fussing. If the child was going nuts and being really loud, then I’d have smacked the dad upside the head too! But if the kid was just a little cranky, then no big deal. But get the story straight on the severity of the baby’s fussing. Otherwise, SHUT UP!
“Do we call it instant justice or is it passed the legal limit?”
Two options:
“…or has it passed the legal limit?”
“…or is it past the legal limit?”
If you’re watching the detectives, the latter is preferred.
Regarding the head-smacker: if you don’t like it, move somewhere polite. Like, say, not New York.
our copy editor toiled over his choice of passed or past
Why smack the spawner? It was the vile spawn making the unwanted racket in our overly noise-polluted world.
The vile spawn making the racket should have received the blow, multiple blows if required to quiet the little heathen.
Jeez, sounds like some people are past their 30-day Medco refill. Sure NJ, we should all stop having children unless they’re born with corks in their mouths. This was a 5 minute wait for a venti, not a 5 hour flight to Brussels. Put your buds in, chillax to some tunes and deal with the fact that kids make noise, not always on your particular schedule or that of the parent.
OBBOP, what particular pod did you emerge from? Even facetiously, you are one SSOAB.
Wow, I don’t check into BHB for a day and a half and I miss a fantastic conversation. Someone should slap me for not paying better attention.
Who in their right mind would stand in a long line for a fag milkshake?
you all need a good smackin’
It seems some peoples view of “children” is similar to there view on abortion. Are they not human beings now until 18, or is it still conception?
TG, even with the double posting, I’m not sure what your point is.
If someone slapped me they would be dead.
Somehow, this whole thread brings to mind this commercial.
James, chill. Unless you’re walking around with a 45 or nunchuks, what are you going to do in a Starbucks? Smother me with foam? Scald me with a latte? I get where you’re coming from but this is Brooklyn, not Dodge.
No age is too young to begin the virtues of corporal punishment. Kids gotta quite on down.
All I know is itzhak perlman would never have allowed any baby to cry through his Great Wall performance.
Slapper must have come directly across from an encounter with the Show Nazi.
That could be his only excuse.
Sounds like the bars just cleared out. Good night all.
congrats to BHB for making consumerist.com! way to go homer!
Next time slap the baby.
I’d like to slap most of the last twenty-something commenters. “Don’t have kids.” “I hate kids.” “They breathe my air.” Trolls. This is why you shouldn’t read blogs.
How ironic. Tim uses an enlightening discussion that presents many different points of view, sprinkled with some pretty funny quips as a basis for swearing off blogs.
As I have said many a time, you just can’t make this stuff up.
The intellect of Brooklyn Heights was put on display here which provides me some hope that the ability to express oneself with the written word didn’t disappear, here in Brooklyn Heights, with Norman Mailer.
Welcome Farkers as well.
Homer Fink (TF)
The comment from 2:09am was not from me.
mom of three ( 8, 5 and 21 months )
I’ve already started penning the “Law & Order” episode based on this story.
“Comment from Heights
Time: December 7, 2009, 2:23 pm
While I may have wanted to slap an inconsiderate parent or two there is no excuse to put a hand on another person unless your life is on the line.”
Yes, I’m sure you’re perfect and have never ever hit another person in your entire life.
wow. Kate’s a winner. According to her logic, we all lose it every now and then, so it’s cool. Let the murderers and rapists go free, everyone makes mistakes every now and again.
oh, and btw, I came here through Fark, and I have to say, you all wear your “Brooklyn Heights” pride like a frickin merit-badge. Could that sense of entitlement possibly lead to a ridiculous head-slap by a fellow heights resident? hmmmmmmm…
“Comment from James
Time: December 8, 2009, 10:44 pm
If someone slapped me they would be dead.”
INTERNET TOUGH GUY ALERT!!!!!!!
Run for your lives!!!!!!!
It is one thing to slap a squawking mini-human or an adult but to proclaim the possibility of resorting to murder and the willingness to take on the possibility of life-long incarceration smacks of pure unadulterated stupidity or an attempt at comedy that is extremely juvenile in nature and suggests that the poster is the proverbial “child in the basement” that may or may not mature into a productive member of society who will assist the never-ending efforts to quiet society by smacking noisy spawn of trashy parents until the little heathens shut up and allow peace to descend upon our villages and vales.
One thing that hasn’t been mentioned– in several countries (UK, Australia, etc.) the term “Slapper” means a loose woman. Include that in the Law & Order ep. which I’m sure they’ll film on location & you may be able to tie in body discovery in the bathroom too.
Personally I make my coffee at home. I’m not a Starbucks fan but I have no problem with parents who need their java fix. It is a stressful time and maybe the Dad was up all night with the infant cause his wife is away- or in the L&O ep. she is cheating on him with the Slapper!
yuppies drinking their $5 lattes. oh life’s a bitch for these people!
Dude, the Slapper asked the Dad to do something about his kid. The Dad probably just ignored him blatantly. Well, its kinda hard to ignore a slap. …and when another man “slaps” another man, its basically a challenge to fight. Like a gorilla beating his chest or some sh.t. If you step down (be the better man) when another guy slaps you, well then maybe you needed it in the first place…
PS. I wish all of you pompous Starbucks worshipping, laptop toting dickhats would get real.
Yes, MADMAX, it’s really real to meet aggression with more of the same. I mean, that’s what being a man is all about, right?
Even better–why not pistols at dawn?
It should be open season who ignore their kids to talk on their cell phone. Sign me up.
This what happens when whitey watches the Wire.
It’s a wonder the cranky MILFs and hypercaffeinated metrosexuals don’t have a daily bitchslap riot in there.
I can assure you that if someone put their hands on me I would defend myself.
Daily Bitchslap Riot… isn’t that a blog in Williamsburg? If not, I’m totally stealing that name.
When some future historian or archaeologists finds this message board thread several hundred years in the future I wonder ID and/or HOW they will interpret the messages within.
Whoops.
Alter the above “ID” to “IF”
Actually, OBBOP, ID makes more sense. If you really think about it, this whole thing comes down to that,
>> I still standby my belief that these sissy drinks should have always come with a side of head slap. <<
Agreed. And bringing “fussing” brats into public places also should come with a side of head slap.
Best.Thread.Ever.
:)
I cannot wait until society stops living like savages, and starts regarding human life as nmore important than money and egos. That would help to stem incidents like this.
What’s going on with the Montague shops? My wife and I were on our way to check out the recent wares in Housing Works this last Saturday and as we were about to go in the door, two cops walk out with a guy in handcuffs. I turned to my wife and said “shoplifting”. Then a third cop walks out with another guy in handcuffs and blood dripping down his face. My wife turn to me and says “book brawl”. She wasn’t too far off.
Turns out the two guys were arguing over a record….had to be David Bowie, I say. According to workers in the store, the guy who got bloodied is a regular British transplant and a complete a-hole. The guy who did the bloodying, who was half his size mind you, is also a regular and is apparently a flamboyant queen.
They were still cleaning up debris and blood off the floor when we walked in. It must have been like a weird celebrity death match.
if you think you’re right and can hit to make your point, then you should have the courage to stand your ground and not run when you hear the cops are on the way. coward.
I would love to have seen that fight… Do they have security cameras there? Youtube please???
I’ve seen some fairly anti-social characters hanging out at the Montague St. Starbucks on occasion. I was there on Saturday night and an unsavory old man was belching loudly in the front of the place while drinking a liter bottle of Coke and spreading newspapers all over. Where do these people come from??
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