John Loscalzo—a.k.a Homer Fink, the King of Brooklyn Heights, the CEO of the Brooklyn Heights Blog—passed away yesterday.

John started the blog in 2006 when he was new to the neighborhood—he brought a reporter’s integrity to the site along with a devilish wit and insatiable curiosity about both the beautiful and the quirky of Brooklyn Heights. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that the spirit of this neighborhood will be so much different without him.

At the time of his passing, John was the Director of Music for CBS Local, and had previously worked for MTV and radio stations like WNYU and K-Rock.

John leaves behind the two loves of his life—his wife, Tracy Zamot, and their daughter, Gracie. He also leaves behind a million friends and fans who will miss his goofy camera grin; his brilliant ideas; his encyclopedic knowledge of music; and the Homer Fink Hidden Brooklyn Heights Walking Tour.

It’s not like me to be at a loss for words, but this is all I can really say right now. Please share your thoughts and remembrances below, and I will post additional information when I hear.

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Perps in a candy store steal no candy; a terrifying incident at Domino’s; and a nervous bank robber ask for little money and gets even less. It’s last week’s blotter.

Yes, it’s last week this week, but that means you get a twofer when I post this week’s blotter later this week. You follow? Moving on …

Two bicycle incidents to kick things off. The first occurred on March 16th, when a man reported that the bike he’d chained to the street sign at Jay and York was missing, as was the street sign. I put on my Columbo trench and went to investigate, but all street signs were accounted for. The bike, a Parlee Z5 Ultegra, was valued at $4,100.

The second occurred the following day, when an officer noticed a man disobeying the rules of the road on a CitiBike at the Tillary and Jay intersection. When he nabbed the guy he discovered the CitiBike had been stolen from Jay and MetroTech on February 27th. For those who are interested, a CitiBike is valued at $1,200.

Two thugs busted into a candy store on Livingston Street but steered clear of the Skittles in favor of $10K in cash.

A violent robbery took place at the Domino’s on Smith Street on March 18th at 5:45 p.m. According to witnesses, two men burst into the store demanding money from the cashier and waving a knife. They then pushed him up against the wall, stabbed him repeatedly and stole his iPhone, along with $200. The victim was taken to the hospital and survived the attack, but the thugs are still at large.

On the same day and same street, clothing store Intermix was hit in broad daylight by three men who stole $6,778 worth of merchandise, including six Helmut Lang sweaters and five pairs of Rag & Bone jeans. Witnesses said the whole thing took less than a minute.

The following day at a Bank of America branch on Fulton Street, a man approached the teller with a note asking for $550. ($550?) When she asked, “What do you actually want?” the would-be robber fled and was later arrested.

A thief hit a Monroe Place apartment on March 16th and made off with more than $15K in stolen goods, including $3,000 worth of jewelry, a $4,500 MacBook (I did not know they were worth that much!) and Nikon camera equipment.

Finally, an eagle-eyed perp noticed an unlocked display case at the Written By Forest jewelry store on Atlantic Avenue and made off with $10,780 worth of gems. And that’s last week’s blotter.

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The Daily News reports that three women who planned on having a spa day at Massage Envy instead wound up in a holding cell after a Massage Envy employee accused them of using a stolen credit card.

The cops were called after a staffer at the massage parlor believed that the CitiBank credit card being used by Kimmell McIntosh, 35, actually belonged to another customer.

The last four digits on the credit card used to book the massage were nearly identical to those on the card of a different client, a police source said.

Unaware of the mixup, the police asked McIntosh and her friends to show their IDs and pressed them to admit the card was filched, the women said.

The women, who are African-American, are suing Massage Envy and the NYPD, alleging they were racially profiled. According to the Daily News, “A rep for Massage Envy said the Arizona-based company was ‘working with the franchisee to gather more information and review the incident.'”

Photo: Courtesy Google Maps.

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An “old lady’s bike” (her words, not mine) was stolen from a bike rack at Court and Montague some time between 7:30 a.m. and 3 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 20. Aside from being geriatric, it was also purple.

Two lovebirds returned from a Valentine’s Day vacation to find their apartment had been broken into and their laptop, tablet, and jewelry box stolen.

On February 18th, a creeper lurking around the ATMs at a bank on Flatbush Ave. was asked to leave by a security guard. The man responded by getting into a scuffle with the guard, grabbing his ID card and taking off empty handed.

Surprisingly, someone actually braved the cold and hung out on the Promenade recently. If that wasn’t bad enough, she also had her tote bag stolen. The victim claimed that as she sat near the Pierrepont entrance, two men approached her; one asked directions to the Barclay’s Center, while the other grabbed her bag. The perps made off with $15 plus debit and credit cards.

Finally, a fashinisto (male fashionista) was caught shoplifting two suits from the Fulton Mall Macy’s. For the record, they were Calvin Klein and Vince Camuto suits. Vince Camuto sounds like a neighbor I had when I lived in Staten Island. And that’s this week’s blotter.

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Hello, lovebirds! Hope all you crazy kids had a great Valentine’s Day. And what can keep you more in the mood than another installment of the Brooklyn Heights Blog police blotter? Read it alone, or as a couple! (Or more, we don’t judge.)

Our old pal Planet Fitness finally returned, thanks to a locker break-in around 5 p.m. on January 19th. A 29-year-old man reported that he locked his locker, but when he returned, the lock was broken and wallet gone.

The next day, Nordstrom called a 39-year-old man to confirm that he’d applied for a credit card. He hadn’t. He also later discovered that five other companies had issued credit cards to an identity thief who was using the victim’s name and SSN#.

Two weeks later at Child Support Services, a woman reported that her child’s father stole her phone and the child. Among his distinguishing marks was a tattoo that read, “Bad Man.” He was later arrested.

That same day, a court-appointed guardian to an 87-year-old man shushed him out of his apartment, telling him that it needed cleaning. It was cleaned alright, of $1,550.

Two days later, $12K was stolen during a robbery at the ironically named Good Luck Newsstand.

An iPhone 6 was snatched out of the hand of a 30-year-old woman walking on Smith Street last Friday night.

At Dallas BBQ on the night of February 7th, two women sat at a table occupied by a 23-year-old and proceeded to steal her handbag. The woman gave chase and was punched in the face. The perps are still at large.

Finally, on the afternoon of Febraury 6th, a 30-year-old woman let a cleaning woman into her apartment. A few hours later after the woman left, the victim discovered she’d also taken two Rolex 2 Stone watches worth $6,800 total. And that’s this week’s blotter.

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For those of you already mourning the loss of Taperia and Connecticut Muffin, read no further. For the rest: I received a tip today that Siggy’s Good Food, the beloved organic eatery of Henry Street where aliens eat free, is closing. I spoke to a waitress at Siggy’s who said she couldn’t comment, but gave me the owner’s email address instead. I shall post updates as I get them. In the meantime, get your mac ‘n’ cheese and quinoa avocado salad while you can.

Update: I have just heard back from Siggy and sadly, the restaurant is indeed closing. The last day is Sunday, March 1st. “It was the hardest decision I have ever had to take in my life, but could not avoid,” she wrote. “The reasons are many, mostly bureaucratic. It is sad very sad, I wish it would have been different. Thank you for all the love and support.”

Siggy’s Manhattan location will remain open.

Back in 2011, our Karl Junkersfeld was there when the restaurant re-opened after Siggy took a much needed vacation:

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So I’m three weeks back at the police blotter and nothing yet to report from Planet Fitness. However, two incidents occurred on January 19th at the Atlantic Avenue YMCA, both at around 2 p.m. In the first, a 22-year-old man playing basketball left his backpack on the gym floor. When he was done shooting hoops he saw his bag was gone, along with his clothes, wallet, and $8.

In the second, a 41-year-old man reported that he put his property in his coat pocket in an “unsecured locker.” It must have been securely unsecured though, because the report then went on to say that when the man returned, the locker door was pried open and his belongings gone.

On January 16th, a Heights woman returning to her apartment noticed the door was unlocked—after she went inside she realized four of her rings, totaling $5,000, were gone. A $500 laptop was stolen as well.

A domestic dispute turned ugly after a 17-year-old reported that his father punched him and his mother threw a Guitar Hero console at his face, causing a cut on the forehead that required four stitches.

A 14-year-old was mugged at the Hoyt-Schermerhorn station—a thug pulled a knife on her and said, “Give me your bag.” She handed it over along with her iPhone.

An organization located on Cadman Plaza reported that a former employee racked up illegal purchases and withdrawals to the tune of $40,000.

And finally, new pharmacy on the block, Careland, reported that after-hours break-in caused $400 damages to the store’s front door, though nothing was stolen inside. And that’s this week’s blotter.

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I’m currently job hunting, and while writing resumes that no one will read is really exciting, I’ve decided to also take this (hopefully brief) time to do the things I wouldn’t normally have time to do if I had a job. I don’t have a particular agenda, just wherever the mood takes me. Perhaps you and I both will benefit from this. (Just don’t bet the house on it.)

So here’s my first quest, inspired by a conversation I had with my friend, Liz—learn about the Native American trails that once served as the major arteries through Brooklyn. (I knew Broadway had first existed this way, but didn’t know about any in Brooklyn.) I went to the Brooklyn Historical Society, where a helpful librarian located this map, “Indian Villages, Paths, Ponds and Places in Kings County,” published in 1946 by then-Brooklyn Borough Historian James A. Kelly.

Since this is the Brooklyn Heights Blog, I wanted to concentrate on this neighborhood; however, I couldn’t help but notice the label “Indian burial ground” next to the tepee located in Boerum Hill. It raised a few interesting questions in my mind:

• Does the tepee cover the exact place where the Indian burial ground exists? (If so, it is directly over Wyckoff Gardens.)

• Do all the tepees represent Indian burial grounds, or just the one that’s labeled? (This map has no key; the librarian thought all the tepees were also burial grounds. I, however, think they just represent the settlements.)

• If all the tepees are burial grounds, then that means there is one beneath my building in Brooklyn Heights. This would perhaps explain the plumbing issues.

Interesting to see some of the trails that exist today as major thoroughfares, like Fulton Street, Flatbush Avenue and part of Atlantic Avenue. I have yet to uncover any information on the Ihretonga, which is the tribe listed as living in Brooklyn Heights. I did, however, learn that the Werpos village of the Indian burial ground had a twin village located around today’s City Hall.

One other site I noticed was a park extending from Columbia Street to Smith Street, and from Atlantic Avenue to Kane Street (and labeled as “Sassians” on the map). I guessed it was park of today’s Van Voorhees park, and indeed nycgovparks.org has more information.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Since I’m Not Working: Native American Edition, where I travel one of the Native American trails, and also try and get answers to the above questions. And now I’m off to the 8-4 for the police blotter. See you there.

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For those of you hunkered down under the inches of snow, it’s a special weekend edition of the blotter.

Last Monday there were two reports of women being robbed in elevators. The first occurred at 8 a.m. on Bridge Street, where a thug stole $20, the second at 8:30 a.m. on Sands Street, where a thug stole $850.

On January 8th, a wallet was stolen from a customer at Amarachi Prime, and $800 charged to the victim’s debit card.

It was a terrible New Year’s Day for a woman on Willow Street, who got into a verbal altercation with her boyfriend that escalated to the point where he punched her in the face. The suspect was still at large at the time of the report.

Another fight between a couple took place in an apartment on Atlantic Avenue and ended when the man threw an alarm clock at his girlfriend’s face. He was later arrested.

That old standby, the locker room theft, took place at the YMCA on Atlantic Avenue on January 14th. The victim put her belongings in a locker and when she returned they were gone. The haul included $250 boots, a $200 handbag, $325 jacket, and that all-important monthly Metrocard. (Which will soon cost even more.)

A patient left his wallet at Metropolitan Dental on Fulton Street, and it was gone by the time he returned.

On January 15th at the Montague Street AT&T store, two men grabbed two iPhone 6s and two Samsung Galaxies from a display. Total value: $2,885.96.

On January 15th at 8:20 p.m., a 72-year-old man walking to his friend’s apartment on Sidney Place was approached by two teenage perps, one of whom flashed a knife and demanded the victim’s phone. The man handed it over, along with $50.

Finally, two men with tote bags walked into the West Elm in DUMBO and walked out with $5,300 worth of duvet covers, shams, and sheet sets. And that’s this week(end)’s blotter.

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Welcome to the first police blotter of 2015! Also the first blotter in quite awhile, my time had been taken up by one of those pesky full-time jobs you hear about – now that I’ve been laid off, I’m free to write about all the malfeasance in the neighborhood. (So if you know of any job openings, I’m a self-starter who’s ok around people and writes police blotters.)

It’s Throwback Thursday, which means I’ll bring back this item from 2011 when HUGE, a digital design company, had $30,000 worth of laptops stolen from its offices. A few months later they had $6,000 worth of laptops stolen. Always one to look on the bright side, I can report that this time they only had $4,000 worth of laptops stolen on Christmas Eve.

Also on Christmas Eve, a Macy’s employee helped himself to $5,000 in cash while on the job. He was later arrested.

On the day after Christmas, a man left his wallet at Shake Shack – it was gone when he returned, along with $43.37 that was spent at a Dunkin’ Donuts and McDonalds. I just would’ve bought more Shack Burgers.

Last Tuesday, a 40-year-old woman who works at MetroTech took off her engagement and wedding rings to put lotion on her hands. She then left them on her desk and got lunch. When she returned the rings were gone.

That night, while a woman was sleeping, her boyfriend logged into her Facebook account and saw a message written to her by “a childhood friend who was also a male.” If you’re going to snoop, you’re going to find something. He hit the victim with a wooden TV tray and was arrested.

Earlier in the week, a 29-year-old woman lost her wallet in what the report noted as “St. Gambling Bar.” I went to Catholic school but I never heard of St. Gambling, though I’m sure he’s prayed to a lot. My suspicions, however, were proven correct when I Googled the address and saw that it was actually St. Gambrinus Beer Shoppe.

Last Monday, a 34-year-old woman tried to cash a stolen check for $45,580.13. She even showed them her ID card and Social Security card. The check wasn’t cashed but the woman is still at large.

On January 7th, a man approximately 20 years old flashed a woman in an elevator on Nassau St. and then took her bag.

On January 8th, “The victim states she had a verbal dispute with her boyfriend about gas.”

Finally, a 90-year-old woman was the victim of one of those upside-down cash payment schemes. She apparently wired several payments through Western Union, Paypal, and MoneyGram, with the promise of a $7,000 cash prize which never came. The total amount that was coughed up? $75,000. And that’s this week’s blotter.

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Just when we were getting used to all the Clark Street elevators running, comes this photo from a reader. Less than two weeks after its repair (after months of being out of order) the middle elevator is out again.

We asked what’s up with that elevator. The subway clerk had no answers.

DEVELOPING….

Update: According to many BHB readers the middle elevator is once again… WORKING.

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Bryan Thomas for The New York Times

Stark also reveals that his husband, Migguel, is from Venezuela and learned English from watching The Golden Girls: “There’s not a night that goes by that we do not watch The Golden Girls. Migguel has a special attachment to it because he learned English from watching The Golden Girls. So for him that’s his blankie, if you will. We’ve been watching it every night for six years. It never gets boring. I go to bed about 11, 11:30.” I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer a plush Sophia Petrillo doll to an entire Golden Girls blankie.

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Racked recently profiled a woman named Beth Weinstein who launched a clothing line for runners called Only Atoms. In the Q&A she was asked, “What’s the city’s most challenging route?”

Jehovah’s Hill in Brooklyn Heights! That’s not the official name, but since the hill is near the Jehovah’s Witness building, that’s what I call it. Sure, it’s a short hill, but it’s one of the steepest in New York City—great for hill repeats.

Daunting, to be sure. And while I’ve run down Jehovah’s Hill, I guess the true test is up. Have you run up that hill? Kate Bush has.

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Andy’s Chinese restaurant quietly closed last month, and it appears that it will soon be replaced by a dumpling restaurant. I say appears because twice I’ve gone by and looked in the window and no one has been there to answer questions, so I can only go by the signage. This is the extent of my investigative reporting. I will look through the window again tomorrow and try to get to the bottom of the dumpling question. In the meantime, I’m hoping the sign means they serve 128 dumplings, because I will singlehandedly keep that place in business.

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Crumbs, the store with radioactive-sized cupcakes, may be reopening after a chain-wide closure last July. The Daily News reports that the company was rescued in part by CNBC’s Marcus Lemonis, and will reopen “16 of its New York-area stores, including shops at Grand Central, Times Square and at 92nd St. and Lexington Ave.” No word yet on whether the Crumbs on Montague Street is on the list, though we will bring you updates from Connecticut Muffin.

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The semi-annual Underground “Stuff-a-Sack” Summer Clearance Sale at Plymouth Church continues this Sunday, June 29, 12:30pm-4:00pm.

You can buy as many $25 Underground Thrift Store totes as you like and stuff them with summer clothing and housewares. The Underground Thrift Store features a collection of upscale and designer clothing and accessories and collectibles for the home. And, you will be stuffing for a cause since the Underground Thrift donates 25% of its net proceeds to organizations that fight human trafficking and modern-day slavery.

All sales are final and accessories and housewares are not included.

The Underground Thrift Store, Upstairs at Plymouth Church, is located at 65 Hicks Street between Orange and Cranberry Streets in Brooklyn Heights.

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Work has begun at 84 Clark St in the space formerly occupied by Mr Video III. This promotional copy was in the window. Not the easiest to read due to the glare, but it appears that the business is called Careland Pharmacy. (At least that’s what I think it says, with the typeface I also thought it said Caveland or Caneland). Anyone know anything about Careland Pharmacy? And what do you think its chances are in a neighborhood with CVS, City Chemist, Rite Aid, and Duane Reade nearby? Perhaps they will bring something new to the table?

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Have you seen this man? EaterNY reports that reBar owner Jason Stevens has disappeared since the sudden shuttering of his bar/restaurant/movie theater last Friday.

Several employees claim that the restaurateur ran into trouble with the IRS recently, and a former chef believes that Stevens made off with 27K in cash and 150K in wedding deposits from the Dumbo restaurant and event space. One anonymous reBar worker tells Gothamist: “The state is after him and he is facing a minimum of 2.5 years in prison for $2.5 million dollars in unpaid taxes…The IRS came last year, then this past Wednesday he had an order to pay by Brooklyn Supreme Court but couldn’t get the money.”

Interestingly, the New York Times published an article on reBar and Stevens in 2010:

[Stevens] opened reBar in 2006 after leaving his job as a vice president specializing in mortgage-backed securities for Merrill Lynch. “I was completely miscast,” he said. (And, with his long hair, double nose ring and ponytailed beard, he looks it.) He’s not much of a cinephile — “I’ve been to five movies in five years,” he said — but opened the theater because he thought it would be fun, and fruitful. “I’m an entrepreneur,” he said.

Update: The Brooklyn DA’s office is now investigating the case.

Photo: Chester Higgins Jr./The New York Times

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Plenty has been written about Moonstruck on Cranberry Street, how Luca Brasi went to sleep with the fishes in the Clark Street Hotel, and how the top floor of 10 Montague Terrace is the gateway to hell. But Brooklyn Heights also made cameo appearances in several other films, including William Friedkin’s The French Connection. Scouting NY, the blog run by location scout Nick Carr, does a comparison of the 1971 locations vs today’s—including shots of Middagh Street, Willow Street, and Pier 5. He also asks a question regarding the below photos—perhaps someone out there can answer?

“… It took forever before I finally realized why I didn’t recognize this location …”

“It doesn’t exist anymore! This is Middagh Street, and at some point, it was cut off to form this garden. Anyone know why? I know Robert Moses bulldozed through part of the street for the BQE, but that was in the 1950s.”

Photos: 20th Century Fox and Scouting NY.

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A mentally ill woman who tried several times to kidnap babies in Brooklyn Heights back in 2002 was arrested on Friday in Manhattan. 46-year-old Tara Anne McDonald was nabbed trying to snatch an 8-month-old baby boy from his nanny in Chelsea. She is currently being held at Bellevue Hospital.

In 2002 word had spread among parents and caregivers about McDonald, and the 84th precinct had stepped up patrols. The Brooklyn Eagle reports that:

McDonald, who was shabbily dressed and appeared to be homeless, was spotted several times in the neighborhood, including by this reporter, but eluded capture until July 17, 2002, when she attempted to grab the 8-month-old child of a Brooklyn assistant district attorney from a stroller on Montague Street near Clinton Street. The baby’s mother wrested the stroller away from McDonald and contacted police.

Officers from the 84th Precinct arrested her near Montague Street later that same day. She was charged with attempted kidnapping, stalking and endangering the welfare of a child.

McDonald, who was deemed unfit to stand trial, spent the next several years in prison and psychiatric facilities.

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News 12 Brooklyn reports that Willowtown Association wants to block off the spot where Joralemon and Furman meet. Residents report that especially in the summer months, drivers fly down Joralemon in an attempt to get to Brooklyn Bridge Park. You can watch the report and video here, and let us know if you’ve come across any speeders on the way to BBP.

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Mayor de Blasio today confirmed rumors that the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks will be returning to the East River after four years on the west side of Manhattan. “I’m a believer that when people speak they can move mountains,” Mayor de Blasio announced. “So I’m thrilled to say the fireworks will be back on the East River.” The Mayor also said that the fireworks will be launched from the Brooklyn Bridge as well as the barges. He then went on to thank State Senator Daniel Squadron, Councilman Stephen Levin, and former Beep Marty Markowitz for their efforts in bringing the fireworks back east. Stay tuned for Karl Junkersfeld’s video, and be sure to stake out your spot on the Promenade ASAP.

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NBC New York reports that Grimaldi’s Pizzeria co-founder Carol Grimaldi has passed away at age 75 after battling cancer. In 1990 she co-founded the eatery with her husband, Patsy; it became so famous that lines stretched around the block daily. The couple eventually sold the business to retire, with new ownership moving Grimaldi’s a few feet away, although the Grimaldis eventually came out of retirement and opened Juliana’s in the old location. (You can read more about it here.)

Per the release sent out by Juliana’s Pizzeria, “Carol was a fixture near and dear to the many neighbors, frequent customers and vendors of Grimaldi’s and was a driving force behind the creation of Juliana’s.”

Karl Junkersfeld featured Ms. Grimaldi in his opening day video (above) about Juliana’s last year.

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Welcome to a special edition of the police blotter, special because it’s on Friday.

When I walked into the precinct this week, a guy reporting lost property was on the phone with his girlfriend and said, “Last time I was here it wasn’t a good place for me. How’s your body, baby?” It’s great, thanks! But let me tell you about a body that’s not so great, one belonging to a man who decided to cool his heels in central booking by lighting up a doobie. You can imagine how that went down! When police tried to search him the man put up a fight until he was … put in central booking.

An incident that happened in February is only now being reported since the victim had no luck finding the perp on her own. She told police her $4,200 wedding ring and $5,500 engagement ring were stolen from her home; she hadn’t been wearing them because she was pregnant and they no longer fit. The only suspect she could think of was the maid, but the maid’s employment agency was not helpful. The suspect is still at large.

The next report mentions a burglary at the Karetzky Laura Gallery, which I correctly deduced was actually the Laura Karetzky Gallery at 20 Jay Street. The victim reported that when she arrived at the gallery after being away for three days the door was jammed and her iPad stolen.

A woman walking on 3rd Avenue last Sunday was grabbed around the throat by an unknown perp who then stole her iPod. He was later arrested.

A 23-year-old man was shot in the back on Nassau Street on April 1st, but nevertheless managed to walk to Brooklyn Hospital for treatment.

An 88-year-old man received a phone call from a man claiming to be a Microsoft employee who needed the elderly man’s banking information in order to validate his account. As you can imagine it was all a ruse, and the man reported several withdrawals made from his account totaling $1,448.21. And that’s this week’s blotter.

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A tractor-trailer overturned near the Atlantic Avenue exit on the eastbound BQE this morning around 4:30. According to News 12, “Authorities say another vehicle was involved in the accident, and one man was taken to Bellevue Hospital in serious condition. ” All roads are now open, but traffic is backed up for several miles. It’s also caused traffic in the skies, as several helicopters are also on the scene.

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Cars stolen, cash stolen, and I make friends with the police. It’s this week’s blotter.

On the heels of Homer’s report about a thug locksmith nabbed on Willow Street—I can indeed confirm that he was arrested, and he’s possibly tied to a string of burglaries in the 6th precinct. More on that as it develops.

Yesterday, while I was transcribing the reports, an officer was doing double-duty waxing the floors of the 8-4; I’m no Martha Stewart, but the floors are the least of the precinct’s decor issues. But he did a great job nonetheless, and told me he had a bone to pick with a man who works for the Beep and parks illegally in the bus lane in front of HQ. From the sounds of it, the parking dispute has now become personal. (Officer: “The guy who owns the car is from Williamsburg, and you know what that means.” Me: “He’s a hipster?”) I’m not going to weigh in either way, but I’ll just say if there’s a Chevy Tahoe parked in the bus lane on Joralemon by Borough Hall, it shouldn’t be there. Moving on …

A 1997 Toyota Camry was parked legally in front of 164 Water Street last Monday, but a man approached the owner anyway and asked what he was doing there. Before long the two were tussling, and the victim eventually ran for help. Unfortunately he left the keys in the ignition, so be on the lookout for a stolen 1997 Toyota Camry, lic# GLR-9752.

Also last Monday, an officer who was already at the 2/3 Borough Hall platform investigating a suspicious package came to the aid of a conductor who told him a passenger wouldn’t let go of the front car doors. When the A/O (arresting officer) approached the thug, he said, “I wil f*** you up if you try to take me out.” He then kicked the officer in the wrist before he was arrested.

Last Saturday on the s/b (southbound) D train, a 33-year-old man was woken by police for sleeping across several seats. When they tried to usher him off the train, he grabbed hold of the pole before punching one of the officers in the chest. Once the perp was put in the police car, he rammed his head into the rear window and broke the glass. Officers later recovered a switchblade in his waistband.

It was at this point when the officer waxing the floors told me that one of the detectives from the Financial Crimes would be coming by with literature on protecting yourself from identity theft. I know I protect myself by keeping my Facebook page open to whomever wants to read it. Sure enough, a detective gave me pamphlets called “Deter Detect Defend” and “ID Theft: What’s It All About?” I only had my Knishes business card to give in return, but perhaps he might enjoy a copy. I will post brochure content soon, as I should probably take a page from it myself.

Another vehicle was stolen in the area, this time a 2003 silver Honda Accord from in front of 200 Livingston Street on March 12th.

A woman was begging at Gold and Sands Streets at around 3 a.m. on March 20th. When a man reached in his pocket to give her some change, she reached into his pocket and stole his iPod. The woman was later arrested carrying a pipe with crack residue. She had also been arrested in January for stealing $20 from a victim on Flushing Ave and N Elliott Place.

A unknown woman going by the ironic alias “Charity” illegally cashed checks from the bank account of Wing Stop totaling $6,967.25.

Finally, a 23-year old woman went berserk in the courthouse on 141 Livingston Street last Tuesday by screaming profanities and punching an officer. A lot of violence against the police this week. To quote Sgt. Esterhaus, “Let’s be careful out there.” And that’s this week’s blotter.

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They must be redecorating the dorm rooms at the Hotel St George, because a tipster sent us this photo with the message, “Disappointed in EHS dumping all of these bookcases into the trash. Isn’t there a Brooklyn org that uses old wood to make new things?” Anyone able to salvage a few?

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More iPhone thefts, plus an appearance from Planet Fitness. It’s this week’s blotter.

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. It’s also Mr Rogers’ birthday today, so I’m watching an old episode of his show while I write up the blotter. Actually that sounds pretty depressing, I think I’ll switch to something more appropriate. Moving on …

Last week we reported on a man who was stealing women’s cell phones around Joralemon St at about 5:30 p.m. Well we have another report, this time dated March 15th at approximately 5:50 p.m. The thug approached a woman from behind at Joralemon and Garden Place and tried to steal her phone. This time, however, he was unsuccessful, and fled east on State St with an accomplice.

Robbers literally broke into El Nuevo Cibao on March 11th by breaking the glass door. They stole $5,200 from the ATM inside.

A thief was thwarted on Fulton St after he tried to leave a store with sunglasses, earrings, and what was described as “pair multis,” valued at $116. When he was stopped by a store employee the man pulled out a pipe and threatened to hit her with it if she didn’t let him go. Police arrested him at the scene.

At around 3 p.m. on March 10th, an iPhone was snatched from a man on the G train before the doors closed. The victim gave chase from Smith and Bergen to Union and Court, but lost him.

And finally, Planet Fitness makes an appearance after a woman reported her locker was broken into and wallet stolen. A Richmond, Calif. Planet Fitness also made an appearance in the national news not because of locker thefts but because a woman exercising there was told, “You’re intimidating people with your toned body. So can you put on a shirt?” Boy, do I know what THAT’S like. And that’s this week’s blotter.

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Like a Barbra Streisand retirement tour, or like the memorable words uttered by Alan Arkin to Carl Reiner in The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!:”Always I’m saying good-bye to you, and always I’m seeing you again,” so returns the BHB Blotter. The precincts have allowed us in again! Well, some of them. And not a moment too soon, as my colleague Homer just reported on a rash of daytime robberies in the Heights. That police report up first and others included herewith:

On Wednesday, March 5th at approximately 5:30 p.m., a perp walked up to a woman on Garden Place and asked her which way to Jay Street. After she walked away, he then ran up from behind and hit her, knocking her over and taking her iPhone.

At just about the same time on Bergen St. between Smith and Hoyt, a jogger was punched in the face and his iPhone was stolen.

Also on March 5th, a 27-year-old man thought it would be a good idea for his girlfriend to serve his child’s mother with court papers outside 180 Livingston St. The mother responded by punching the girlfriend in the face. She then punched her ex in the stomach and took his laptop. So all in all, it went well.

The next day, a Good Samaritan was beaten for his troubles at 4:40 am on a northbound N train. He tried to defend a woman being menaced on the train and was knocked into the subway pole and punched repeatedly. Luckily the perp was arrested.

On March 3rd, a 35-year-old woman was arrested outside of Macy’s after putting $1,013 worth of clothes in a laundry bag and walking out of the store.

On March 7th, a man returned to his home on Henry St between Poplar and Middagh and discovered it had been ransacked and his Kindle, iPad, and two pairs of what were described as “earrings (heirloom)” were stolen. There was no forced entry and aside from the victim, only the landlord and super had keys to the apartment.

No forced entry occurred on Nevins and Atlantic on March 5th, after a man returned to his jeep and saw that his MacBook Air and other items had been removed. The victim was not sure if he locked the vehicle.

Finally, a woman and friend were shown apartments at 166 Montague; after the woman decided to fork over $4,300 to secure an apartment, the “broker” disappeared.

Yours truly had a run-in with the law yesterday. While filming at the entrance of the Battery Tunnel, cops came from all directions and demanded to know what I was doing. After I told them that I was filming for a documentary on my cousin in the FDNY, they asked for my license and held onto it until I deleted the footage. I told them that we film at the tunnel with CBS once a year as part of the Tunnel to Towers Run but no one cared. There weren’t any signs about not filming, and I wasn’t on the tunnel property. But like the memorable words sung by Neil Diamond, “When they know they have you, then they really have you.” And that’s this week’s blotter.

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Looking like an episode of Victory at Sea, the above was spotted this morning by readers Gracie Court Tipster and OBB. Since many of the maritime vessels in the area tend to be sailboats or kayaks, this one really made a splash. Careful Googling of the number on the side revealed it is German supply ship BONN A1413. Seen any sailor on Montague St?

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